The year has finally “landed.” After 30 years on this planet, I am happy to report that things are settling into a cool groove. The funny thing is, I didn’t change much about what I was doing. A small mindset shift was all it took to (finally) flow forward. There are three major themes I’d like to share, each with an overarching lesson and its real-life application.
Kindness
Lesson
I realized that there are different definitions of kindness, and as I grew, my definition of self-care evolved along with me.
Life application
It’s January, the start of the year, and everyone is energized from the holiday break. Naturally, work became hectic. Right away, I felt mentally and physically drained. I didn’t have the headspace or energy to cook like I used to. Since I was efficient at work, I applied the same formula to life. I had food delivered to my building lobby while I was still on the road. Sometimes, I’d stop by a restaurant on the way to a meeting, reviewing documents while munching down lunch. It was a productive use of my time. But by the fifth day of doing this, I developed a migraine—I realized my brain hadn’t had a proper break in a while.
Initially, I thought I was being kind to myself: I didn’t want to burden myself with cooking or cleaning, so I ordered takeout instead. As I grew older though, I slowly discovered that chores didn’t annoy me as much as they once did. I actually enjoy washing dishes, appreciate the quietness as I chop vegetables, and I love walking down the aisles of my favorite grocery store. Doing house errands gave give me a chance to pause from the hustle and bustle of work. It reminded me that I’m a human being who needs nourishment and enjoys the meditative rhythm of scrubbing a pan while taking deep breaths.
The next day, instead of ordering takeout, I took a detour and went to my favorite, familiar grocery store. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb, bought ingredients, walked home, and made myself a simple meal. Thankfully, I live in a walkable area, so the whole process only took 60 minutes—about the same amount of time as ordering out. I still enjoy a good meal at a nice restaurant, but sitting at home with roasted vegetables and fried rice that I cooked myself has become a new form of self-care. And both are equally kind.
Technology
Lesson
Everything is merely a tool. I used to feel guilty about how much I relied on the internet, but this week, I could honestly say that the time technology saved up for me was actually used to rest, vibe, and chill out.
Application
I’m an interior designer and go on site visits often. When taking on new projects, I would photograph the space, take measurements, sketch the layout on paper, and then create a 3D model in my home office. Now, I measure spaces with a laser meter, input them directly on my tablet using a mobile version of my 3D software, double-check dimensions on-site in real time, and upload the file for online backup on the spot.
My old process took 1–2 hours on-site and another 1–2 hours on my desktop. Now, it’s done in half the time. And thanks to mobile internet data, I can upload site photos and videos while traveling back home.
The best part? When I get to my home office, I do nothing—nada. I plop down on the sofa, sip on a refreshing drink, and decompress. I rest for around an hour, which is the time I’ve saved from using technology.
The gadgets and the internet’s real-time capabilities have made my work so much more efficient. In the past, I would have filled the extra time with more tasks, but now I use it to start my day later, knowing I can accomplish everything faster. I get to paint in the morning, read a book, and brew myself a cup of coffee slowly, with no hurries.
Mistakes as Pivots
Lesson
I’ve learned that when something doesn’t go the way I initially wanted, curiosity is a better reaction than frustration. Somehow, being open to “what’s next” makes the outcome a lot better—although we can’t objectively know if it’s the best outcome (no access to multiverses, yet!), somehow it becomes a lot better than what I imagined!
Life Application
A week ago, a project fell through. My first reaction was, “Aww, man.” But soon after, I thought, “Okay okay, cool—let’s see how this one pans out.” Just one week later, three new projects came along!
Even today, I ended up at the wrong address. It turned out the building I needed had another branch, a location that was a kilometer away. Luckily, I was early for my meeting, so I walked to the right building. That walk gave me a chance to take a breather. It was my last meeting of the day, and the pause helped me find a second wind of energy. Plus, the walk gave me time to organize my thoughts for this article, double hurrah!
All the lessons I’ve learned still had references and cross-checks from the past five years, but real awareness only came from the half year. It took a couple of months of intentional trial and error, but eventually, life surprised me by showing how time can become my number one friend.
For so long, I swung on the pendulum between the past and the future—caught up in what happened and weighed down by expectations of what should have happened.
Life feels a lot lighter now. I’m not pulled away by my past and not pushed forward by my future. Somehow, I landed in the middle. A sweet spot. I’ve developed a sense of flexibility that I only ever experienced in yoga asana practice.
My heart is full with joy and contentment as I experience this well-balanced life, one that feels as grounded, yet lifted as Natarajasana. When the dancer’s pose is strongly rooted, it can rise higher – with grace.
It feels like a rhythmic dance between the universe and myself—or in this case, between posture and gravity—where both meet on a sweet middle ground.
And when we’re in that balance, something beautiful always unfolds.
As the movie Jurassic Park once said, I believe it’s because life always finds a way. 🍃
TYSM, universe. 🪐
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